Before I used to just go with what the other person(s) wanted. I rarely spoke up or voiced my opinion. Don't get me wrong I just didn't sit their like a retard, but I would get to the point where I would be so frustrated I would over react. Yea not good. Especially since I was a big cry baby back then. My problem was I wanted to make sure that everyone else was happy. I put everyone else, especially relationship wise, ahead of me.
Now that I think about it I was never "me" just who I thought I should be. As you know that is NOT a good thing. But this is what gets me. I did it because I really cared about the person(s). In a way it makes sense to put that other person ahead of you if you really care & love them. It made me happy to see that person happy. If toughing out a situation meant that they would appreciate it, then it was fine with me.
Isn't that weird? In a way it's justifying the behavior but it's also not. Sometimes you gotta make sacrifices. & to me those where were mine. I guess I can't complain too much about it. It's not that I wasn't happy, because I was. I think I just learned that now I don't have to be the only one making those compromises. It's possible to meet in the middle.
Here comes the new issue at hand. My bluntness. I don't always think before I speak. I call it "word vomit." Lol. Sometimes have strong opinions so I just tell it like it is. Which is appreciated now days, but I need to take the edge off a lil. So this is where I am at. Instead of being a people pleaser now I'm mean (For lack of a better word). It isn't gonna be easy, but I'm gonna learn to control my 'word vomit" & be a little nicer........hopefully!
XOXO,
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